Oh the Things I've Learned!

I know I start every blog the same, but WOW I wish I could really explain every thing that goes on in my life here in Zimbabwe. It just isn't possible, but these weekly updates will give you at least something...
      The last few entries have been intense and full of the serious and impacting experiences I've had and the ways I continue to grow. They are all amazing, but I decided to step away from the seriousness this time and share with you all the other things I am learning here. Each day is full of adaptation to the culture, I am full of questions and the ADMT staff does a great job putting up with them all! I spent this last week in Harare at ADMT and working with the local schools, projects and people. The title I could give this week would be, "How to be a Zimbo."
     I was focused on what tasks I needed to accomplished to be considered a Zimbabwean. I tried my Shona out, I wore my African attire, and I asked most people I came in contact with for tips or advice in becoming a Zimbo woman. I was totally laughed at and definitely a source of entertainment to the people, but I can honestly say I am getting there...
     A part of my work this week was visiting the homes of church members here at Eastside Christian Church. Denford, the missionary, is the pastor and church is held in the home that I stay in. I've gotten to know the church members pretty well over the last 2 weeks and it was awesome to visit some of their homes and to pray with them. With each home, I learned new ways to achieve my goal of becoming a true Zimbabwean. I was served Zimbabwean dishes, learned Zimbabwean traditions, and before I left made sure that I got my tip for the day... It was a blast! The people are incredibly welcoming, and seemed to really enjoy my efforts.

So... Here's what I walked away with at the end of week 2:

I now am able to prepare the staple food here in Zimbabwe called, Sadza. It is prepared daily in the homes, and a definite must for a woman to know how to cook.

I have mastered the art of towel wrapping a baby to my back. You don't go a few minutes without seeing a momma with her baby on her back. It is the way that they are able to get things done while carrying for their children. In my opinion it's seriously practical and my kids will be partaking in this one in the future...

I know how to properly wrap a scarf on my head, Zimbabwean style. I think I look like a joke, but I gotta do what I gotta do...

I have fetched water from a well and carried it back on my head. Yes, I still use my hands, but I'm getting there...

I learned how to plant cabbage and ground nuts. I've done my share of gardening, but it's different here and I'm getting it down...

I've become professional at bucket bathing, because of the lack of running water I shower daily with a bucket of hot water. I am taken care of by the staff here who heats the water for me, but I am now capable of getting my own water and showering like a champ (still figuring out the shaving thing, let's just say it's good that I wear long skirts that hide my legs everyday)

I have many things lined up for me to learn: Making peanut butter, collecting firewood, washing clothes, and many more, but I feel pretty accomplished so far.

As you can see, there's a lot of growth here, not only in the spiritual sense, but in the practical ways of being a true Zimbo. Pretty soon I'll have it all down, but until then I'll keep you posted :)

Transforming

           It’s been a while without Internet connection, so my updates are few. I’m safe in Zimbabwe, and my first week is already over. It has been an awesome, intense, different, crazy and incredible experience thus far. I have wasted no time since I’ve landed and have been experiencing so many new things. I’m adapting to a brand new culture, a brand new place, brand new people, and a brand new plan for the next 9 weeks.

My first day was spent getting to know my new home and my new family here with ADMT. I attended church, and met everyone that will soon be such familiar friends. I met with the ladies Bible study, hung out with the youth group, made friends with the kids around, and connected with Pastor Denford and his amazing family. It was such a rush of emotions to be in this new place worshipping God with these people SO PASSIONATELY and having no idea of what was to come of the next 2 months.

The next day, I was sent to the village of Mhondoro… again, with no clue of what to expect. There I met my host family for the week, Pastor Lameck, his wife Patience, and their two adorable children! The week in Mhondoro was all sorts of incredible. Incredibly impacting to see the projects that our CCV teams have accomplished before me. Incredibly encouraging to meet so many amazing people who were thrilled about my arrival. Incredibly hard to get used to yet a new place alone, this one without electricity or running water. Incredibly life changing to be able to laugh, play and interact with the beautiful children in the schools. Incredibly mindboggling to sit back and watch the Zimbabwean sunset and think, “Am I really here?!”… so I think it’s safe to say “incredible” is the word for the week.            

My week in Mhondoro ended early on Friday however, I was picked up a day short because I had spent the night throwing up with a fever… this is when I was hit with a whole other wave of emotions. I was doing ok with adjusting to the newness alone. I had moments of fear and loneliness, but I was doing fine. When you add being sick to being away from home and loved ones, it hurts on a completely different level. I was in so much pain, physically sure, but the pain of being so far away from home was the hardest to bear. I was filled with fear, doubt, loneliness and uncertainty… I wanted to be home with my family and loved ones rubbing my back and bringing me 7-up. I didn’t want to be strong. I didn’t want to be sick!

I was picked up and taken back to my home in Harare. My body was forcing me to lie down and rest for the next 2 days. With my rest came so much learning, so much time to hear God, the opportunity to finally start processing this crazy adventure of life, and to be STILL. I won’t lie none of it was easy. I didn’t want to lay alone and do nothing, I wanted to be back out working on something, or playing with kids. I didn’t want to process, because I didn’t know where to start. And, I didn’t want to be still, cause that’s when my heart starts breaking… but its what I was forced to do. I realize now how God used that sickness. I wept out all the lies, the fears and the doubts that filled my head. I spent the time journaling, processing and facing the emotions that ran crazy through my heart. I cried out SO DESPERATELY for help, guidance, and relief from God to enter my weak and sad body, and I felt him clearer than ever! I read, prayed and reflected more in one sitting than I have in weeks combined. I FINALLY dealt with issues I have ignored, put off and never fully gave to God before.

It was incredible, so hard, but incredible! I sit here on Monday after a weekend full of transformation. I still have a long way to go, but the freedom I feel from letting God in, and I mean TRULY letting him in is beyond words. I am learning things I could never learn without being isolated and alone. I’m experiencing Him in ways I never could if I wasn’t in a new and unfamiliar place. I’m allowing Him to completely change my life, because I’m letting Him break me down.

This life is such a beautiful gift. It may not always be wrapped with a shiny bow, but it is an amazing journey filled with ways to constantly be pulled closer to God. In the book I’m reading, Walking with God, the author put it this way:

“…Whatever you may be going through in your life, God ALWAYS has his eye on your transformation…”

I am continuing to learn how to give every last bit of myself to God, to let Him have all the control, because he’s always working on something…

He’s transforming!

Now with full health, full strength and a free heart full of excitement I start my second week of incredible transformation… let’s see what it has in store.

Goodbye Kenya, Hello Zimbabwe

          I honestly can’t believe that my time in Kenya is officially over. I am writing this on the plane to Zimbabwe, and each time I picture the faces of my kids, the times spent with the staff or the home I made at the Behr’s I get a huge knot in my throat. I knew it was going to be hard, but I never imagined it to be this hard. I have built such amazing relationships over the past month and it breaks my heart to leave these loved ones behind.  I flash back to my times in the homes of the incredible people in the Kawangware slums, my times in the community center bonding with the youth at VBS, the moments of pure joy as I was attacked by the love of the kids in the kindergarten program… It hurts to think about being away from it all.  I left a piece of my heart back in Kenya, and I am blessed to have them hold it for me until I return again.

I could fill a book with all the things I have learned thus far. I wish I could explain it ALL to you here, but there is something about an experience this powerful that leaves me without the right words to really do it justice. A part of me is frustrated because of that, but then a part of me loves that this experience is MINE, for no one to understand it the way God has brought me to understand.

I have never felt more certain of a decision I’ve made. It was one that was scary and took a ton of faith and trust to make, but the Lord has shown me in so many ways that this trip has been in His plan for me far beyond my knowledge of it.

            Now I fly away and head to the next part of His plan for my life… Zimbabwe. Another HUGE step in faith for me. I don’t know the people, the place, the ministry or the culture. I have been sent, and I’m going. I don’t doubt that there will be moments of uncertainty and feeling uncomfortable, even moments of loneliness, but here’s what won’t change… I am on my way, and I have faith that my God will provide in the ways I long for. He will comfort in the ways I hurt for, He will guide in the ways that I search for. He is GOD and my life is in HIS hands. His plans for me are prosperous, and if I love Him, He will work all things together for my good.

Until next time Kenya… Here I come Zimbabwe!!!

Comfortably Uncomfortable

I can’t say this experience is “comfortable” at all. I am alone in a completely different culture halfway around the world. I’ve left friends, family, a boyfriend and the comfort of my home behind for 3 months. I am walking amongst poverty in a rough, slum setting each day without others in my position to relate to. I am seeing things completely foreign to my heart and my mind. I stick out like a sore thumb and never go without being noticed or approached (in some great ways, and in other not so great ways). The things I am eating, my body decides it won’t keep, and I speak all of 10 words in the native language. Each night I go to bed in someone else’s home, and wake up without a clue of what I’ll be doing each day. The word “comfortable” just isn’t a word to describe what I’m doing.

But, here’s what I am continuing to learn from Kenya. I LOVE being uncomfortable, I LOVE having no control or understanding of what’s to come each day, and I LOVE being away from everything I know and everyone I’m used to.

Because, with discomfort comes learning and growing in immeasurable ways; ways that would never be possible if i stayed within my comfortable limits.With uncertainty comes the ability to live each day full of hope, letting go of all control and trusting God with each step I take. With isolation comes a clinging to God that brings a comfort that exceeds any type of comfort I could experience from this world. Being in a new place, brings experiences of a lifetime and moments that open my eyes in completely new ways. Without my loved ones, I am reminded of how blessed I am to have them and I am given the opportunity to build more incredible relationships across the world.

            I definitely have my moments, and I'm not saying that this is easy, but when I look at what the difficult and unfamiliar times have brought me over the past few weeks, I am reminded of how important it is to be uncomfortable. 

            Our lives are our gifts, and each day should be treated like one. We can't hold on to what we have been given and contain it in our own little comfortable boxes. Life is about moving forward, taking risks, sacrifices and leaps of faith, learning as you go and thanking God for another day to continue to use this gift to the best of our abilities. I am learning to live this life like it is completely undeserved, following God where He leads me, beyond what "comfort" allows.

To put it simply, I’m comfortably uncomfortable!

                      

          

                                        

Simon!

          Those of you who were part of my Kenya experience last year know ALL about Simon. Simon is a little boy who stole my heart in 2 minutes. Last year during home visits I followed a social worker named Freshia into the home of a sweet 5-year-old boy. He was shy, but had a smile that could stop anyone in their tracks. I heard his story about how he was left an orphan, and bonded with his guardian who fed me my favorite Kenyan dish. Since the moment I stepped into Simons home that day I knew it was different than any home visit I’d done before. He was new in the program and he needed to be sponsored still. I had been praying about sponsoring a child and asking God to show me which one… He brought me to Simon!

            I went back to Simon’s home the next day to tell the family that I had decided to be his sponsor, and the joy in that moment is a memory forever planted in my heart. Since that day, Simon became my little shadow… He was attached to me the entire remaining time of my trip. He said few words the whole time, but loved on me constantly and flashed that beautiful smile nonstop.

            Getting to see my Simon again was one of the most anticipated parts of my trip this year. We’ve communicated through letters, support and pictures over the past year, and when the time finally came to see him again, I was ecstatic! I brought Kristin with me and we walked down my favorite road in Kawangware. We turned the corner to his home, and there was Simon, washing his face in a basin of water outside. I called his name and he looked up. Still no words, but there was that smile… this time missing some teeth! He was hesitant at first, but the next thing I knew he was sitting on my lap squeezing my arms tighter to him. My Simon! His guardian remembered me joyfully and we spent a few minutes hearing the latest family news and Simon’s progress in the last year. It wasn’t much, but to me the moment was perfect!

            I have been able to see Simon several times since that visit in the past 3 weeks. I was able to take him shopping to buy him new clothes, shoes and food supplies. The entire time we walked, he wrapped his little arm around my waste and never left my side. I've continued to visit his home every couple days, and with each visit I grow closer to his family and the love of that little boy. He holds to me tightly while I chat with his guardian and as I leave, he grabs my hand and walks me out as far as he is allowed. I can’t get enough of my time with him, and am blessed each time I am given the opportunity to squeeze him tight and experience his unforgettable grin.

            This week will be my last full week working with CCP. I can’t believe it will be nearly a month of being in this amazing place, and I hate the thought of leaving it all. However, my last week will be spent working in the newly added CCP kindergarten class, with none other than… my Simon!

I know it is no coincidence that this opportunity came up while I am here this year, and I am overwhelmed by God’s hand in this entire experience. I will live each last day to my fullest potential, striving to give the glory to God in every moment… side by side with that shy, sweet little boy who has forever changed my life!

                                                         I am so blessed!

          

                                                        

Intense

 It has been a while since I’ve had a chance to blog. I wish I could have someone just following me around everyday recording everything that happens. So much has been happening and I wish I could share it all!! I’ll do my best to keep you posted with limited Internet and an endless amount of experiences.

Today marks 3 weeks away. It has been 3 weeks since I left my home and my loved ones. I can’t believe how fast the time flies. I had an incredible experience with the team for the first two weeks, and I won’t lie, it was tough watching them leave. Now, I have reached the end of my first week of being here alone, working with Chosen Children of Promise and living with the Behr family. So much has happened in the past week, and I find it frustrating as I write this, because my emotions and experiences are too difficult to describe in words.

The only word that comes to mind as I reflect on the past week is…Intense! I have reached the point where I am no longer just a visitor on a trip, but involved and living amongst the day-to-day lives of these people in Kawangware.

This week I have spent each day in the heart of the slum working with the CCP social workers. I’ve walked about 10 miles, visited over 30 homes, and interacted with each family. We visited with the guardians and the children to share life and check up on their home situations, health, education and spiritual lives. Over the past 2 years I’ve grown to know and build relationships with so many of these children, and it is such a different experience away from the community center and actually present through their everyday lives at home. It is one thing to know a joyful, energetic child at VBS and another to know how they live in one room with their 8 family members and struggle to eat each day. I can’t quite explain the feeling, but it isn’t an easy one. The kids were beyond excited to see me walk into their homes though, and holding them in my arms while they clung to me tightly with huge smiles across their faces is another indescribable feeling!

There have been so many amazing moments in each day. I’ve been filled up by the joy of the children. I’ve been inspired by the faith of many welcoming, generous and lovable guardians. I’ve been overwhelmed by the kind, servant hearts of the staff I work with. I’ve been transformed after witnessing the way many live their lives simply for the Lord, and I’ve been left in AWE by the way my God has worked in and through each experience.

On the other hand, there have been some extremely difficult moments. Each day has been filled with heartbreaking sights. I’ve heard so many stories of abandonment, death, and diseases in each home. I’ve seen children living in hunger, and parents striving for funds to provide for their families day to day. I’ve prayed with widows and orphans who are dealing with the pains of lonesomeness and loss, and after a while this stuff takes a crazy toll on my heart and emotions.

As I reflect on the week, I see how it has been some of the most amazing and hardest moments of my life. But here is what else I see... My emotions can be everywhere, my body can be tired, and my heart may ache, but I find that I am left with a peace that transcends my understanding. I am filled with hope for what is to come tomorrow. I grow more in love with this place and the people daily, and I have faith stronger than ever before because I believe in a God bigger than any poverty, pain, disease or longing.

It may be intense, but it is the exactly where I am supposed to be, and I will take each moment, the easy and the difficult, and let God continue to work through them in ways I can’t even begin to imagine.